Yesterday was perfect.  I spent my time exactly how I wanted and needed to.  So, I'm going to tell you about it :-)  Mike, Alex and I slept in a little bit and then Mike worked from home, which is unusual but I'm so glad he can do that once in a while.  I absolutely needed him at home yesterday.  I dropped Alex off at a friend's house for a good chunk of the day, which was a Godsend for me and him.  He had a blast playing with his friend, Preston.  I came home and took a hot bath in the dark with two candles burning (one for Lydia and one for Leah Grace, the daughter of a friend whose blog I read who went to be with the Lord a year ago as well, on November 29th).  I thought about the two precious baby girls together.

I listened to worship music throughout the day.  I read your comments, e-mails and cards.  And I was just unbelievably touched.  Really. As much as you all reached out to us back a year ago when I was overwhelmed by your love and prayers, I don't know if I thought that was going to be it, or what.  I was just so pleasantly surprised and felt so blessed when I received kind words from people one year later.  Honestly, I didn't expect anyone else to remember the date, but that wasn't the case at all.  Even a casual acquaintance of mine said,  "December 3rd...I will never forget that date."  And that just makes my heart so full...not because people remember me, but because they remember her!

Mike and I had a lovely lunch out together just the two of us.  During that time, I asked him to share things that stood out for him during those two days in the hospital and that entire week.  And it was just so neat to hear some of the things he recalled, what stuck in his mind as significant memories, his perspective during that time.  Like, I didn't remember playing Uno with my wonderful friend and nurse, Renay.  And then also talking to friends and family throughout the day who were right in the midst of everything with us those days.  They shared little things they recalled as well...their outlook, moments I didn't know about.  It brings me joy to hear about those days from others.

I came home after lunch and baked a birthday cake for Lydia...white cake with strawberry frosting and white writing.  I was stressing a little about the decorating turning out perfectly (it didn't...looked like Alex did it), which I later realized was silly when Alex was telling me to "chill out."  The cake was perfect.  But, to back track, while the cake was baking, the doorbell rang.  I wondered who it could be.  I was shocked to see Mike's parents at the door carrying a huge arrangement of the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen.  They drove the 2+ hours to give me a hug, tell me they love Lydia and all of us.  I was in tears by the suprise and kindness of it.

Do you see the couple of butterflies? I love it.

So, I visited with them and they surprised (actually, scared) Mike and Alex when they came home with a few balloons.  We sang Happy Birthday around the cake lit with a single candle at exactly 4:47.  Alex was all about having cake before dinner!  It was a treat.

At 5:15, we each released a balloon.  I loved Alex's comment before we let them go.  "God is going to see these balloons coming.  He's going to be so happy!"  We watched the balloons until we couldn't see them anymore.

It was shortly after the balloons that Alex came over to me and told me he had a secret.  He whispered to me (then Papa and Grandma), "Lydia's not sick anymore."  Man, I love that kid.

I went to my weekly Bible Study, Heart2Heart, at 6:00.  It was where I needed to be to end my day.  I was surrounded by some of my closest friends, women who are so endearing to me.  I love them so much.  We worshiped together before our discussion.  Lindsay and Mike sang Wonderful, Merciful Savior, which they sang at Lydia's service.  I bawled.  There weren't many dry eyes in that room.  Then, Lindsay spoke to us about how hard it can be to worship God in the midst of trials...disappointment, anger, fear, sadness, confusion.  When we don't understand why the junk is happening on in our lives, why we're having to go through "this" and how it can be hard to give him praise, glory, faith, our trust, our adoration when we don't understand!!  Lindsay is an amazing teacher and God ministered to all of those women in that room through her last night.

Then, believe it or not, I ended my day with a LOT of laughter.  Who knew it would end that way.  Several friends went out and had a late dinner, a lot of talking and tears (from laughter) after Bible Study.  I then went home and lit a candle and prayed right before midnight.

I love you all so much.  Thank you a thousand times over for your love, words, gestures, thoughts, prayers, hugs, but most of all, for remembering Lydia.  I thank God that she'll never be forgotten.