January 11, 2008
Today is a difficult day.  It's significant because this is the date that was placed on our hearts about 9 months ago.  My due date.  A date that, for the first half of my pregnancy, we were so excited about and longed for.  The date that our baby would most certainly be with us and our family would grow from three to four.  The date that everyone inquires about when you're pregnant and is truly engraved on your heart as the big day when she'll arrive!

January 11th, a date that was meaningful in a different way for the last half of my pregnancy.  A date that we were no longer as thrilled about.  Although we anticipated holding and loving Lydia in our arms, we knew this date would be the end of our earthly time with her.  January 11th became the day she would no longer be with us.

But today my heart aches for what (or who!) might have been.  For the dreams and hopes we originally had for this date in our lives.  We miss you so much, Lydia.  We would have given anything for your body to form perfectly in my womb, and for you to be healthy and with us in our home on this date in our family's history.  God shed the first tear when the neural tube did not develop properly...way before we ever knew our lives would be changed forever.   He knew in that moment the pain that we would experience and the loss.  He knew He'd take care of you in heaven.  We know He's telling you all about us and your big brother, Alex (who also thinks about you often).  It brings us comfort to know that you are in His warm embrace.  We thank Him for the beautiful time we had with you. We love you dearly and will always think of you on this special day.